No Compassion

No Compassion

Our therapist said,

as she rolled up to him

knee to knee

“You’re a bully.”

My heart stopped.

I thought he would bolt.

Instead he chuckled, said

“I guess you’re on to me.”

I never knew he knew

he was a bully, considers

it a complement, he relishes

 in it.

She rolled up to me, said

“You hired on to teach him.

What you failed to notice,

he wasn’t advertising.”

He is a narcissist.

He has a disease

aligned with narcissism.

It is all about him.

He has a public demeanor

endearing ways, what 

caught me once, so many

years ago.

Tonight he talked to me

of his need for compassion

how difficult this disease is.

I dug down deep, nothing.

I can’t conjure compassion

there’s too much damage.

I perform my duty to him.

I am only the hired help.

The World is Heavy

The World is Heavy

I advise listening
I never watch the news
except to listen to NPR

The World is Heavy
how do we lighten up
we listen to NPR

We listen for sanity
in an insane world
we listen for hope

The World is Heavy
we listen for sanity
we listen for hope

Logic Vs Emotion

I am emotional about my logic

defending logic I get emotional

I would love to be dominant in one

recessive in the other, a mix that

would rise in the proper hemisphere

for the situation

I am a swarm in logical emotion

I am a swarm in emotional logic

I remain in the middle hemispheres

I am logic about my emotional

emotional about my logic

Anger

Anger

It got to me tonight

I raged, yelled, demanded

met with obsolescence

why I resort to anger

it never works in my favor

but it happens

It is late

the clock ticks minutes

I am tired

My anger has subsided

lactic acid courses

through my muscles

I was truly mad

going after a mad man

it got to me tonight

Slate

Slate

I repair to my room

driven by night and

longing to think who

am I, what am I, why

through what tear 

in the mesh of my life

did I change key, no?

Blanket

Blanket

I pull it 

uptight

around

my shoulders

I snuggle down

warm

around 

my shoulders

I love it

spread

down

my torso

I am warm

Bud

Bud

Green

ripen

explode

bloom

seed

Bud

To Bed

To Bed

I don’t want to go to bed

always forced there before 

I was ready when I was a child

Now he tells me “go to bed”

I don’t want to go to bed

I love the night with no one

but me riding with owls

through black velvet sky

as I wished as a child

I love bed

I love to sleep deep

but not too soon

I don’t want to go to bed

I want to ride the night

hobgoblins witches owls

Cold

Cold

Slivers of ice run through my veins

every time you show me hostility

it freezes my brain and heart while

all the time I tell myself no reaction

ice fingers squeeze my ribcage

I have no control over my feelings

unless I want to be an ice cube 

Night Sky

Night Sky

Just past dusk

the sky is a special blue

a color indescribable

egg robin blue perhaps

all else is silhouettes

black trees against intense blue

On the horizon the sky

is peach and stars dot

weakly for it is still light

I breathe in the beauty

peace of dusk tonight

as stars begin to pop

Lost in joy to be alive

existence on a planet

revolving on its axis

I ride the circle

observe light changes

and season slants