Remembrance

Memorial Day

We bought geraniums

dug them into soft brown earth

red orange against gray granite

purple lilacs, bright green moss

quiet place

we try not to walk on graves

Grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, Mom 

in respect to them who lie beneath

I read their Headstones 

Mother

Mother's Day Eve

I look for photos
of my mother to share
but they're missing
I don't know where they are
a few of us together
when I was very young
no adult together photos
were they never taken
I think not
no mother daughter embrace
because it never happened
until it was far too late
and no one was snapping

Days of Me

Days of me

Morning rising up
out of the ocean of sleep
dreams pulling loose
I want to dive back in
to the wonderful worlds
I escape to each night

Awake begrudgingly at last
I face reality and wonder 
why get out of bed 
know because I am blessed
alive to a new day
I escape into wonder

I turn over leaves
get out my microscope
click on my stargazer
read, paint, write, listen
talk with a friend
walk my dog with my husband

He and I shop, cook, eat, laugh
go our separate ways 
for our evening, me to write
he to watch TV and then
I pull the blinds shut
dive back into the ocean of sleep

Drought

The lakes are down
the temperatures up
two mockingbirds 
attack a boat tailed grackle
in a bottlebrush tree
another lies dead beneath

green scum floats on water
duck family disappeared
rings disturb the surface
no splash from roils beneath
lawns are green as all water 
despite the bans

for rains will come
perhaps with a vengeance
this is Florida after all
just one hurricane can fill us up
brim full and overflowing
for now we wait for tropical rain

The Forgetting

Monster

We wrestle with the monster
which we perceive as sometimes you
sometimes me
why we do, say the things 
that come out wrong in a war against each other
when it is the Monster who fucks with our heads

Monster robs you of your cognizance 
makes rationality impossible
coupled with loss of short term memory
extreme frustration and irritability
over the struggle with everyday tasks
that now seem insurmountable

as you lose your patience
I invoke composure, compassion
all the while I am frightened
tense in our world that is upside down
where you who have always been supreme
now must take the backseat to me

I must make the decisions
not just what's for dinner but financial
selling the house, buying another
preparing for the questionable future
I don't feel up to the tasks while I wrestle
with the Monster

Leader

 Am Not A Leader

I am a leader in absentia
I demur but then I strike
with suggestions
ideas of how things might go
how it could be better

I never want the podium
never the limelight, I just
see a way and I suggest
often to resistance
falling on deaf ears

I am not a leader
prefer to abdicate
let those with vision
take charge while I am happy
to ride on their coattails

I prefer equality
yet leaders are necessary
someone to take charge
make decisions
for the benefit of all

I am a wise woman
perhaps I should
step into my shoes

Prayer

Prayer

Oh Lady so many to pray for

but you are life without control

the original cell

every bit of you mitosis

it is you growing into each of us

physical mutations 

psychological mutations

we are all happenstance

many weaving a Magic Carpet

that I believe we can fly away on

in prayer 

chanting heats up atoms

gets them shaking

sometimes a miracle

if we believe

I pray

I chant