Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Resolutions

Resolutions

For the sake of life
I have them in mind
though to resolve is
fraught with failure

I want to live better
body first which leads
to mind for we are
one body mind

I’m stuck in a rut
of daily demise
letting  myself dwindle
without care

I just want out
its not healthy
I have resolutions
that might save me

I will go to the gym
I will walk and walk
I will swim and swim
I won’t talk


I will meditate

Opposites

Opposites

I AM STRONG
I am weak

I AM BRAVE
I am cowardly

I AM HONEST
I am a liar

I AM SMART
I am stupid

I AM AMBITIOUS
I am lazy

I AM HAPPY
I am  sad

I AM FUNNY
I am maudlin

I AM CONTENT
I am restless

I AM PROUD
I am ashamed

I AM ALIVE 
I WILL BE DEAD



Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas Past

Christmas Past

Christmas past
tree still lit shines
on lifetime treasures
ornaments of meaning
selected gifts from friends
handmade treasures
memories of years
sharing love

Christmas past
tree still lit shines
on thoughts of
so many gone
either by death
or different paths
so many memories
sharing love

Tree still shines
on Christmas past
on Christmas now
so many memories
stories to tell
so much love
there and now
woven into me

Christmas tomorrow
add one more year
of joy, love, sharing
light the tree
live in the glow
presents past and present
give and grow




Lonely

Lonely

It is my fate
though I never mind it

I am okay with me
yet it would be

nice to have someone
I am okay with me




Sunday, December 8, 2013

I Think

I think I'll sleep
on my couch
that couches me
yet I'm never allowed
he comes calling me
insists I come to bed

I think and think how
will I make it work
for both of us so we
can be delightfully
free to be individual
each onto their own

He is melded into me
I like to be free and wish
he could realize his own
separation
his separate personality
not he and me

I want him to fly
on his own careening
sailing in the sky
skimming ocean
heady and free
alive

He hunkers down
minimalist he lives
in a shrunken world
digs in to a bunker
hides his head
refuses sun


Tonight

Again the fury
I cleaned shrimp
marinated them
cooked quinoa
set the skillet to
melt butter saute
garlic with lemon
he was to cook
he couldn't so he
yelled at me and
went to bed while
I write poems
if that what they be
Pacifica

Waves pound steep shore
bleached skeletons of trees
nearly buried in sand
wind keeps them visible

Sea spray salts my skin
gray whales crest and spout
I watch them again and again
how do I describe my sense

There are no words except
the overused ones again
and again as I dream of waves
bleached skeletons of trees

 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Owls

Who Who Who Who
they answer to and fro
Who Who Who Who
one lands on the pool cage
yellow talons  cat ears
big golden eyes
interest in our little dog?
Who Who Who Who
they ask at dusk
they ask all night
into the light
Who Who Who Who

Owls

Great Horned Owls

Who Who Who Who
they answer to and fro
Who Who Who Who
one lands on the pool cage
yellow talons  cat ears
big golden eyes
interest in our little dog?
Who Who Who Who
they ask at dusk
they ask all night
into the light
Who Who Who Who?

Monday, December 2, 2013

Autumn

Autumn

I miss the early gentle days
after the heat and excitement of summer
the haze, the lull, the relaxation
the gentle lap of the lake
no motor boats, no pressure to live summer
to its fullest for it is gone
a time to unwind, reflect, enjoy
smell, see, revel, pick apples

I miss the leaves
crimson, scarlet, burgundy
orange, yellow, bronze
maple, oak, popular
that set the stands ablaze
detach on breezes
cradle down on buffeted currents
raked into piles, then burned

I miss the nutty smell of fall
the chop of fallen wood no longer green
loading logs in chill blue air
to keep us warm
through the frozen season
of black and white, wisps of smoke
warm inside
I miss the Headless Horseman





Friday, November 22, 2013

Spurious


Spurious

False prophet

     MONEY

It gives a ludicrous
sense of safety

It might buy you
a way out of chaos

Probably not
yet you strive 
to stack up earnings

It is your only goal
to accumulate 
worthless paper

Nothing backs money
it is only paper that
we keep grinding out

Once money was based
on the gold standard
always gold was sought

No more
paper money takes the floor
its all paper

I trade paper for services
I have a lot of paper
it is my commodity


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Wrapped

Wrapped around must do
without stimuli inspiration
it doesn't adhere to writing

doctor's offices
supermarkets

I do try for stimulation
walks in gardens
drift line fishing

I can't get him
to the beach
or to movies

just to doctor's appointments
lunch with lunch buddies

Tonight he said he will
see a movie
I select Gravity in 3D

Maybe he is opening up
we shall see


He Asks Me


He Asks Me

He asks me
again and again
used to be irritating
can be now though
I know why

He can’t remember
anything new as he
describes it so he asks
me again and again
I know why

Yet I can’t truly understand
give thanks for my memory
that I took for granted
I’m not irritated now
I know why

I want to wrap him up 
in a big ball of memory
I want it all to come to 
him who is lost in seconds
Why oh why

He asks me

Tuesday, November 19, 2013


PhOTos
Is She Me
She is Me
Me is She

Waterfalls


Waterfalls

Water falls
over cliffs
pools 

Beneath
is secret

I am secret
beneath pools
I wait

Waiting is death


Sunday, November 10, 2013

I Don't Care

I Don't Care

I don't care if you don't understand me
just don't try to make me do
what is abhorrent to me

I will dance insanely to your beat
I will sweat within your heat

I don't care if you don't understand me
it is enough that I understand myself

Take me even if you don't understand me
just don't try to make me do
what is abhorrent to me

I will dance insanely to your heat
I will sweat within your beat


Untitled Post

The page is blank
what I wish for
a white page
no past nor future
we had photos
taken of our
non-event
it is over
the page is blank
it is my blank page
Before Hot Screen

I breathe in deeply
I exhale
I breathe in  deeply

I hold my breath
waiting for a signal
I breathe in deeply

I exhale
lungs bursting
waiting

I breathe in deeply
I exhale
I don't give up
I Want

Wanton
I want
to luxuriate
in my own bed

Wanton
I want
in silk to sink
into ecstasy

In my own bed
I want
to listen to music
in my own bed

Wanton
I want
to luxuriate
in silk to sink
Blank

I tried to write something.
It only came up blank.
This page was empty.
Then I found it again.

Now I am going through
motions to get something
down that isn't mundane.
Why am I wasting your time

Unless it is about process.
I am writing it now
working through it I path
my way along

Where Oh Where

Where Oh Where

Where are we going
on this orb in space
spinning around God
our sun who feeds us

All of us in spite
of our level of hierarchy
spin on this orb alone
our sun who feeds us

I don't know, do you?
Do we only die and if
we die do we transcend
to another life?

Do we remember?
Would we want to?



Solitude


Solitude

To be alone
to wake each day
to revel in sunrise
to be at peace
to dine on fruit

To be alone
to revel in sunset
to be at peace
to dine on vegetables 
to lie at rest

To be alone
to be at peace
to wake and sleep
to dine and dream
to be awake



Without Further Ado

Buckle your seatbelt, Miss
navigate with grace
visions humming 
in an instant all could change
drill your young ones 
over years as they stride
for freedom
to be wise and loving

Friday, November 8, 2013

Anger


Anger

It busts harbors
roils calm waters
sets boats slipping
from their tethers
fierce it disturbs calm
caged inside erupts
all over everything
leaves one empty
quivering until next
onslaught over inane
unrooted accusations 
I scream typhoon
get out of the way!

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I Am Sad


I Am Sad

I am sad
beyond sad
beyond what
sad conveys
I can’t cry
only anguish

I anguish over
pain and anger
subsequent to
impossible life
living within a
form of insanity

No sense rules
nonsense days
as life drifts by
no way out of
wasted moments
cower moments

I am depressed
beyond belief
know I need to
search for ways
to help myself
to keep alive

Days challenge
every moment
no soft time
no relaxation
no off time
no respite

I am sad
beyond sad
beyond what
sad conveys
I can’t cry
only anguish

Ping Pong


Ping Pong

My brain bounces
back and forth over
the net of insanity
paddles smash home
the intricacies 
despair circles around
as I try to make it all right
there is no right only wrong
Ping Pong 

Wind


Wind

I love language
I love word wind
it thrashes tree
stirs things around

I love language
words wind around
stir things up
how did we form

language I love
can’t imagine before
language  how words
came to be 

Wind

In The Dump


In the Dump

I scavenge
for peace
shard of tie dye
in a warring world

I scavenge 
for warmth
a quilt of love
in a cold world

I scavenge
for fairness
for everyone
an entitled world

In the dump
I pick among
bones of loss
cold hard world

Sunday, October 13, 2013

On the Edge


On the Edge

Diesel engine thrum
rides us out to sea
blue sky azure ocean
light breeze

We rock all day braced
against the tide roll
heavy poles in hand
fish die desperately

Beautiful fish bloody
hooked gaffed stabbed
Bonita bleed profusely 
to the crew they are fish
we are their predators

Born from the sea today
sleepy drunkard I see
I expected thunder from
a prophet who mends
and binds me to him

There are no prophets
personal or public
who lead us away
from the edge 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Clever


Clever

It is an odd word
a bit like cleaver
a sly intelligence
hand you a saw
ripped from a nest
ripe flesh bleeds
swept in a basket
stars see a secret
you took a chance
you never blinked

Friday, September 27, 2013

Hot and Humid


Hot and Humid

I want to enjoy
cool breeze
leaves turning
soft blue sky
it is hot humid
ninety today

Polar ice melts
Miami Beach
streets flooded
where will it end
world engulfed
all ocean no land

Noah and Arafat
we learn nothing
centuries pass
lessons ignored
we continue to 
destroy all life

Over and over
again we mistake
our mission to
honor life in
variances all
contained within 





Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Onyx

Clouds
wet on
nightshirts
line hung

Friday, September 20, 2013

He's He


He’s He

He will 
beat me up
one way or
another

Anew Nuit


Anew Nuit 

I’m alone
first night
two years
gone bye
I’m alone

Only for a
short time
two hours
I sit to pen
in peace
I’m alone
free to be
I breathe
deeply in
out in out

I’m alone
free to be
who I am
I am finely
tuned me




Saturday, September 14, 2013

Frustration


Frustration

Seeps out my pores
annihilates him
he lets me know

We are locked
in disharmony
it is my rock

to bare



In the Overall

I had words in my head
to address the overall
he interrupted thought,
said, “What about him if
I don’t take care of me?”

He is right as it is about
having a child again
complete responsibility
for someone else who 
depends upon me. 

In the overall is demand
I am swimming away
from the octopus sucking
me down a dark crevasse
I had words in my head.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

War

War

I can't understand war at all
I especially can't understand
when war kills civilians 
accidentally in harms way
mistaken causalities
 
and then
there's nerve gas
that kills innocents in a
diabolical way

I can't understand war at all
I can't understand nerve gas
used on anyone at all
diabolical it kills in horrific ways

How can anyone unleash
such suffering on anyone
especially innocents 
we are all innocents 
except those diabolic ones

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Birthing


Birthing

Orgiastic
room full of men
me and my baby
birthing

Monday, September 9, 2013

Rusted


Rusted

Copper gown
burnished green
pitted onslaughts
reveal environment
never adorned as she

We Looked Away


“Postwar America fell heavily under the influence of an out-of-control and paranoid military-industrial-complex. The middle-class kids growing up in 60's rebelled and a revolutionary spirit took hold amongst them. Marx was for many a guiding inspiration for revolution. Their indignation was fanned by the oppression of minority races at home and the killing of foreigners half a world away at the hands of an imperialistic American military.”


Marx made us high
united yet less committed
except for getting high

Eventually we fearful
gave up 
"grew up"
followed the path  
of cookies that lead us
to what was expected
educations, professions, families, houses
military-industrial complex

Marx made us high
united yet less committed
We looked away  

Life is Brutal


Life is Brutal

Always been
from the time
we  brought
down animals
by ourselves

No advantage
but brain, that
brain got us 
in a lot of rain

Now we have
advantage over
everything
our weapons
still get smarter 

Friday, September 6, 2013

Email to a Friend


Email to a Friend

I tried to write 
an email to a friend
all night the phone
rang and rang and
rang again

I lived in voice write
phone call friends
I tried to write
rather than call
an email to a friend

Monday, September 2, 2013

Witch Hunt


Witch Hunt

He’s after me
he’s always after me
before me
beside me
behind me
his presence heavy
he’s always after me

I duck and weave
smile until my face cracks
I disintegrate on the
floor beneath
gasping for breath
from the frontal attack
he’s always after me

He can tell if I’ve had 
something to drink
he’s after me as he 
swills his beers
okay for him but not
for me
he’s always after me

I live in fear each moment
he never lets up so I sneak
sips and puffs
a disgusting way to live
in ultimate paranoia 
I am an adult with free will
it is dangerous to assert myself

Why do I live like this
he's always after me
I'm afraid to leave 
a sad admission
I am a coward
I am one of those women
beaten down

Now I am his caregiver
after angry days we embrace
there is still love and caring
still respect and yet why
do I live like this
he's always after me
it is dangerous

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Evening


Evening

All day storm advances
inky sky threatens
lightening shoots sparks
sunset bathes clouds
in feathery scarlet
puddles a mirage of wet colors
I sway in doubt lost in a hole 
from too close introspection 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I Need a Massage


I Need a Massage

Strong fingers working
muscles, tendons, bones
I need a knead working
muscles, tendons, bones
staff of life making bread
it begins in the nest

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Against the Wall


Against the Wall

Concrete rigidity
how do I do that
against the wall

Beaten each day
against the wall
how do I do that

I fluid through it

Dusk Sky

Sky tumultuous
layers of clouds upon clouds
stack up like mountains
wisps of whites stack in front
streaks of pink against blue sky

I love clouds, love circling
around them in a plane
without mountains in Florida
clouds are my mountains
again and again

Monday, August 26, 2013

Photos


Photos

Photos capture
what otherwise might be missed
except once there were only words
and visions we held in our heads

I love having photos
I imagine the words to match

Logjams


Logjams

My life is a logjam
difficult to find sense
communing when 
synapses fail
plaques and tangles
logjam connections
struggles ensue

Friday, August 23, 2013


In the Overall

I had words in my head
to address the overall
he interrupted thought
said, “What about him if
I don’t take care of me?”

He is right as it is about
having a child again
complete responsibility
for someone else who 
depends upon me. 

In the overall is demand
and I am swimming away
from the octopus sucking
me down a dark crevasse
I had words in my head.
   

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Lunch With Susan


Lunch with Susan

“You have free will,” she said.
“I do?”  “I do,” I said, a new
phenomenon for my way of 
living my life cowed by him
who tells me how it is
how it will be forever and ever
in his threatening voice and
facial grimaces and I wonder
at me and how I have endured
this for what seems like forever
still, I cower, I am at fault
for I never should have allowed
the cowing bowing down to him
I have free will, she said so.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I Feel


I Feel

I feel
round
fecund
growing
glowing
owning
I feel

I Want Him To Go To Bed


I Want Him to Go To Bed

I can’t be me when he is awake
I am who he thinks I am and yet
I disappoint him all the time for I
am not who he wants and yet he
tells me I am beautiful and smart
and how cherished I am until I 
open my mouth 

I want him to go to bed so I can
relax and be me to do whatever I do
as me whatever I am that disturbs
him and disturbs me because of him
I hope he really is in bed asleep
I hope I have the energy to be me
I am so tired now from interaction

with him it is always about him
it is always about how he is right
it is about “Quiet, I was talking!”
I try to interject while not interrupting
but the interjection is seen so and then
I want him to go to bed though I will
have to creep around to be me