Sunday, October 18, 2015

He Says

You are so fucking angry
I am angry, I confess and
I feel so guilty for my anger
for he is not at fault

He can’t help needing me
to do everything for him, no
sharing as in the past when
he would cook

Now he can’t make a sandwich
he can’t dress himself
and now he went to bed angry
that I wasn’t joining him

I am grateful the noise of the TV
is off and he is no longer calling
to me, or so I hope for just a bit
as I try to sink into relaxation

Everyday drains me down to
barest ability to keep on doing
so much that he demands, I

there is no I, it is all about him
Broken

I’m broken
my husband
taken down by
Alzheimer’s

It is so hard
killer for me too
as his spouse
his caregiver

Demand huge
each minute of
everyday as  I
try and try

I lose it sometimes
he is highly demanding
it feels like insanity
dementia

The definition that fits
is impossible reasoning
as he calls and calls to me
all day long

I answer and answer
all day long to assuage him
I am exhausted as he calls
again and again to me


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Danny Exiting, Erika Coming On

Rumbles quiver through air
slice atoms they pound
electric I love a storm, but
not too big a storm, though
I am enthralled with danger
all day rumbles, I wait for
the slice of sizzle and bang



Monday, August 17, 2015

SEFL

Hot I jot

Hot my day
in vast array

Sealed in
I can't get

Away

I'm stuck

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Rich

So many riches
it bogles my mind
     and yet
How many more

might there be?

Monday, August 10, 2015

Sunset

Glistens my trees
raindrops on my windows
crystals in many colors
Sun set blinds me in
myriad considerations
dapples my vision