split my lip, black my eye, bruise
my face as I would crumple
after getting in a few good blows
I would hammer his torso, gloves
on, edge in, crouch, draw back
burst, pierce, chisel away at the
resistance to my happy freedom
I would crash through him and
glow until the lights went out
for Sunday Whirl Wordl:
Great bit of power in a small package, Willow. Profound imagery.
ReplyDelete'scrap' indeed! well done.
ReplyDeleteAnother one! I am absolutely amazed at how many poets used this week's Wordle words to describe/explore physical violence. It never occurred to me!
ReplyDeleteHalf a Whirl
Oh, wow. Intense... and I like how the words feel like punches being thrown.
ReplyDeleteYou have really written an intense piece here, Willow. I would not want to be either one of these two who are fighting it out!
ReplyDeleteThis is incredible and powerful. I get different meanings each time I read.
ReplyDeletePowerful is exactly the right word. I feel like crouching in a corner myself at the beginning, and then I feel the power of fighting back--"until the lights went out." What a great ending!
ReplyDeletePowerful literally and metaphorically.
ReplyDeleteVery intense and I can see the action. I like the surprise at the end with the lights going out.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. This is is intense and powerful. I love your harsh opening "he would beat the crap out of me" ... such appropriate wording in this case.
ReplyDeleteYour closing is fantastic. For a second I thought you meant the actual lights, but you were just saying thought you fought hard until you blacked out. Eventually, he got the best of you. This has been a common theme with this week's words, and yours is at the top. Wonderful work, Willow.
You really captured the essence of a dangerous situation with this poem. So well written!
ReplyDeleteWhew, Willow! This is an incredible piece of writing. Like Judy said, I get something different from it each time I read it, and I truly have read it over and over. Excellent work, Willow.
ReplyDelete