Friday, July 9, 2010

During the Day

Dust motes down
seen only in slants
sun carves its way
through the day

We wake, rise from
horizontal slowly
move through our
shower, shave


down dust motes
seen only in sun
carved slants
through the day


  1. I like the form and creative wording of this poem, first stanza similar to the last. Ah, yes, and I can picture the 'horizontal slowly.'

  2. I like the construction of this poem, how the first stanza and the last are almost the same! Nice writing.

  3. Your poem evokes the image of the slow passing of time that can be seen and felt on some lethargic days by the dust reflecting in the sunlight. At last, aren't we like dust hovering slowly through time, visible just for short moments in the light of life? - Thank you for this.