Sunday, October 18, 2015

He Says

You are so fucking angry
I am angry, I confess and
I feel so guilty for my anger
for he is not at fault

He can’t help needing me
to do everything for him, no
sharing as in the past when
he would cook

Now he can’t make a sandwich
he can’t dress himself
and now he went to bed angry
that I wasn’t joining him

I am grateful the noise of the TV
is off and he is no longer calling
to me, or so I hope for just a bit
as I try to sink into relaxation

Everyday drains me down to
barest ability to keep on doing
so much that he demands, I

there is no I, it is all about him

I’m broken
my husband
taken down by

It is so hard
killer for me too
as his spouse
his caregiver

Demand huge
each minute of
everyday as  I
try and try

I lose it sometimes
he is highly demanding
it feels like insanity

The definition that fits
is impossible reasoning
as he calls and calls to me
all day long

I answer and answer
all day long to assuage him
I am exhausted as he calls
again and again to me