Monday, August 19, 2013

In Pursuit

In Pursuit 

In pursuit of my misery
he yells and threatens
bangs on the locked door
I have to open or he will
knock it down, so he says
he accuses me of things
I have not done, didn’t do
the neighbors must hear
I am surprised the police
haven’t come as I have
been close to calling 911

Every night is a nightmare
sundowning, I believe they 
term it and it is horrific after
a lovely dinner when suddenly
Mr. Hyde appears threatening
with bodily harm and I don’t
want to be here even with my
knowledge and compassion
it becomes too hard to care
my neck hurts from fending off
from rigid fear and worry

In the morning there is loving
during the day there is friendship
he says kind words about my care
tells me I am necessary to him
and appreciates that I am here
I tell him I wouldn’t be anywhere
but here to care for him to love him
to help him on this journey we
traverse together one step at a time
the other numerous health issues
the drug trial that will arrest progress 

Evil one that I am, I’m not sure I want
him stuck where he is for it is often
unbearably hard yet how can I say no
for the future without arrest is grim
today is doable for him with quality
it is only hard for me to bare and so
I persevere to keep him whole as I
can with modern science trials that
pursue arrest 

1 comment:

  1. This sounds so difficult, Willow. You are a strong person to endure all that you have, but I am sure it has taken its toll.