Saturday, November 15, 2014

January 10, 2010


I am a fraud, I can’t do this
strong woman, endearing spouse
we are neither of them, I can’t do this.
It is too hard to entirely give up myself
I have too much ego. I am caught
in a snare of self and there is no place
for self in this endeavor, this demand
by a stronger than I am man, a man
without reason, a man screaming
to maintain control in his out of
control existence.  A man used to
complete control, and I think he will,
without intention, crush me.
I cannot do this.

February 13, 2014

He sent me sailing through space
I crashed breaking my humerus
surgery, a plate and thirteen screws
physical therapy still to this day
in early May, with yet months to go
he was out of control.

I cannot do this.


  1. No, you should not be doing this, Diane.

  2. You should not be doing this. It isn't that you aren't strong enough. It is that it is an impossible task. Even without the size difference, or with it in the other direction, my mother hurt my Dad physically when she was in demented rage. It is horrible but some things aren't doable. I couldn't keep Kerry alive with my love. And you can't do this. It is no reflection on you. It is just terribly true.